Tour rider — guest edition
Show up known.
Touring musicians have had this since the sixties: one page that says how they take their coffee, so nobody has to ask twice. My Rider is that page, for everyone else.
Two minutes · Nothing to install
My Rider for Jason Smith, billed as Comfort Seeker, number MYR-CB68AF. Clause 1: Coffee before conversation. Flat white, oat milk. Clause 2: Dark chocolate. Not milk. Not white. Clause 3: Still water, not chilled, within reach. Clause 4: If there is a kettle, there is proper tea beside it.
Fig. 1 — A rider, countersigned by its subject.
Exhibit A
It started with a bowl of sweets.
In 1982, Van Halen toured with a contract that ran to dozens of pages — staging, rigging, how much weight the floor could carry. Buried in the middle of the technical specifications was a line about the sweets.
For forty years it was repeated as proof of rock-star excess. It was nothing of the kind. It was a tripwire.
Brown M&Ms in the bowl meant nobody had read the rider. And a crew that skipped that line might just as easily have skipped the one about the rigging.
Van Halen
1982 · World Tour
CLAUSE 126 — Confectionery A bowl of M&Ms, backstage, with every brown one removed. Should any remain, the show is forfeit.
Filed between the rigging load limits and the power requirements.
Fig. 2 — Clause 126, as filed.
As reported
- 002Mariah Carey1990s–Bendy straws. Always.
- 003Beyoncé2013Alkaline water, served at 21°C.
- 004PrinceAlwaysEverything purple. The entire dressing room.
- 005Jennifer Lopez2000sAll white — flowers, furniture, drapes.
- 006Iggy Pop2006Seven dwarves. No explanation offered.
Everyone has non-negotiables.
Yours are smaller, and nobody has ever asked you to write them down. The coffee that has to arrive before conversation does. The one snack you actually eat. The tea you pack because nowhere ever has it.
None of it is unreasonable. It has simply never been written anywhere a hotel could read it.
My Rider
Approved
ARTIST ....... MAYA OKONKWO BILLED AS .... WEEKEND REGULAR CLAUSE 1 — Morning: Black coffee, no sugar. CLAUSE 2 — Provisions: Salted almonds, a lot. CLAUSE 3 — Wind-down: Herbal tea, nothing fancy.
Countersigned by the guest. Preferences are a guide, not a guarantee.
Approved
Fig. 3 — Somebody else’s, finished.
Draft your own
Start with three.
Your comforts shouldn’t stay at home. Write three of them down, and they go wherever you do.
0 of 3 clauses entered
My Rider
Draft · Unsigned
ARTIST ....... —
BILLED AS .... —
Nothing entered yet.
Preferences are a guide, not a guarantee.
Approved
Fig. 4 — Your rider, in progress.
The itinerary
Three stops.
My Rider
All areas
Bearer
JASON SMITH
My Rider Number
MYR-CB68AF
Fig. 5 — One number, every stay.
Stop one
Write yourself down.
Your coffee order. The snack you actually eat. How the day ends. Two minutes, and it is written.
Stop two
Collect your number.
Every rider gets an MRN — a short code that stands in for the whole document, so you never have to explain it twice.
Stop three
Send yourself ahead.
Put the number in your reservation notes, or send the link. The places that care will have read it before you arrive.
The difference
Same hotel. Same night.
| Showing up generic | Showing up known | |
|---|---|---|
| What they hold | Your name and a card number | Your name, and three things you would notice |
| The welcome tray | A guess, kindly meant | A decent chance of being right |
| Your coffee order | Asked again every morning | Already on file |
| What you explain | All of it, every time | None of it |
Preferences are a guide, not a guarantee.
Show up known.
One page. Written once, sent ahead, and never explained again.
Build your rider — freeTwo minutes · Nothing to install
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